The very wonderful big guy let me sleep in this morning. Thank goodness. I worked last evening so I got home around midnight- which was actually around 11PM- but I have not been sleeping lately due to some new medication I am taking.

As I told you in my previous post- they diagnosed me with MS over the summer- so this week my neurologist started me on an anticonvulscent… Topamax. While some of you may take this with no issues for migraines or mood disorders, remember that I already live with numbness, foggy head, word dropping and extreme dizziness. Sooo…. these new side effects are not a welcome addition to my life. I also worked all evenings this week so I did not sleep that well. What the hell was my point? Oh yeah…I slept in and I came down the basement to the fam playing Rock Band.

By the way my girls totally have my voice (remind me to apologize for that later).  After watching them play for about an hour, I requested that we go outside and play as I am going back to work this evening and you know darn well they will be back down here in the dungeon playing games.

What did I get for my wonderful request of “lets go outside and play and take a walk and have some fun”?

“Mommmmmmmmmmmmmm, nooooooooooooooooooo, we are playing with daddy and having fun. You’re soooooo boring! ”

Well thanks is what I have to say.  Why do I even try sometimes. My kids play soccer, basketball and indoor swim team currently so it is not like they are not active. I just get all paranoid that one day of video games will be the end all. I guess I should just relax. Maybe it is my mood, maybe it is my medication, maybe it is just me….

For the record, I let it go and walked back up the steps to take my own walk in the leaves.

Well, guess what? I’m back…. That is right. I have made several changes lately with my life. Let’s see… where to start.

I was diagnosed with MS, multiple sclerosis, over the summer and have spent the last 4.5 months learning to live with a new normal. I get very tired, grouchy, numb, tingly, sore, lose words, stumble in speech, live with a foggy head and have little feeling in the ‘down there’ parts. That last part really sucks!!!

I also have decided to go back to nursing full time again. I am both excited and sad about this. I have had to quit my channel editing job with b5media in order to make this happen-and my professional blogging as well. But boy oh boy am I happy right now. I feel like I have lifeted a great deal of stress of of my shoulders. I have one job and when I am home… I am home. And I soooo love being a nurse. It makes a big difference.When things stop being fun it is time to get out and that is what was happening with b5.

We just returned from a wonderful Disney family vacation last week as well. It was soooooo fun. The girls and the big guy and I had a blast!

So with all of these recent changes I now have more time to write for pleasure…which means I am back here at Gaga. I am also helping the big guy out at the Dagger as well.

I look forward to getting reacquainted with all of you!

It’s been a freakin’ long time, huh? How the hell are y’all? I’ve been wanting to write for days, hell weeks, but I haven’t managed to scrounge up more than a few minutes. But tonight I have exactly 4.3 minutes so here we go…

Top five quotes from my house over the last week…

1. “Mommy, I can’t get the thingie outta my ghina.”

2. “Mommy, Syd drew a picture of a wienie.”

3. “What happens when we die?”

4. “Mommy, you used to be sooooo pretty. Now you’re kinda okay.”

And the best was from The Big Guy while he was laying on the bathroom floor after drinking 3 bottles of wine with my sisters on Thanksgiving. Oh boy what a fun night, but at least it gave me a couple of good laughs…

5. “I know you want me. Look at me. I’m hoooottttt!”

M3- Mommy, my head hurts and my throat is sore

Mommy- You will be ok, you have missed a lot of school this year, just try to make it through the day, you look pretty!

M3- (with total attitude) Fine, but my head hurts and you get to take “Mowtwrin ” when your head hurts can I have some medicine pleeeaaasse?

Mommy- (feeling a bit guilty about sending her to school) Sure and then you can make it through the day. You are tough!

An hour later…

School Nurse- Mrs James?

Mommy- (well shit) Yes, what’s the matter?

School Nurse- I have Syd here in the office and she has a fever of 101.7 and a very bad headache, you are going to need to come pick her up from school please.

Mommy- (guilt pouring from my voice) Sure, I will be right there, tell her I am on my way!

And a half an hour later…

M3- (glaring at me with very angry eyes, that also looked very sick) I told you I didn’t feel well mommy. The nurse said I was right, I am sick with a fever.

Mommy- (crap, crap and crap) Ok sweetie, we will go to the doctor this afternoon!

Damn, I hate when they are right and I feel so darn guilty. And the nurse was just laughing at me, she knew that I knew she was sick. But honestly, because of all her surgeries early in the school year, she has already missed 12 day of school. That is almost half of the year! You can’t blame me for trying. And the kicker is that all 3 are home from school sick today. Party time here at our house, haha.

The weather has finally changed as of this morning. It is 65 degrees, rainy and breezy. Yee ha! No more air conditioner. Two days ago it was still 95 degrees, in October in the mid-Atlantic, go figure. The windows are cracked and it feels fabulous inside.

Now, get rid of the rain and I wouldn’t want to lay around, not that I am doing that anyway, but a girl can dream. It’s the simple things…

So, the Boss is almost 7 years old and she seems to think she is 22 and knows all in the world. I am having a tough time with her behavior lately. Is that normal? Please say it is. And she is so emotional and extreme with her words and feelings. maybe she is super sensitive but she worries about everyone at school and loves the guidance counselor. I don’t know how I feel about that, I am proud of her for wanting to discuss her feelings and handle them in a mature fashion, but the guidance counselor? We have tried to reassure her that she can talk to us about anything without us getting upset, but I don’t know if she buys it.

Ugh… kids are tough. M3 is much better now though and has made a full recovery and the Babe is every bit of 3 years old and loving pre-school. The Big Guy and I have had 0 time together but what are you going to do? I am looking forward to next month when I am not working every weekend, which was totally my doing but I was orienting at my new job and trying to get through the hours I needed. Maybe we can have a… date night! Oh la la. I don’t know if we will know what to do, wear or how to act, haha. Life is always busy though and always will be, so that is how it is!

Ok, I haven’t been here for a while, huh?  Boy life is busy as crap lately!!!  M3 had surgery, then more surgery then a horrible infection then more emergency surgery and now she is on the mend. Today is her first day back to school since September the 13th.  Let’s see, I started a new nursing job, which I LOVE, last month and have been working a heck of a lot.  But I really do enjoy it so much more than the hospital.

I keep saying, “things happen for a reason”.  And this time I really believe it because I needed a kick in the ass to make a professional move, I got one and it has worked out for the better.  I am still watching the boys 3 days a week and doing the editor thing at b5media so life is on a roll, and in no way slowing down.

Swimming has started back up and is 3 nights a week with meets on Saturdays. Boy, how did my parents do it?  I hope that I have the resilience much like them to do all that I can with and for my kids. So now you are officially caught up on my very busy but boring life.  The Big Guy and I are going to need a date night pretty soon because we have been running on empty for a few weeks and it is taking it’s toll.

We need to reconnect, umm… if you know what I mean? And dinner would be nice too, haha.  I am hping to get back into the writing groove here, but it is hard since I write daily on my Diabetes Notes and A Hearty Life for b5 along with my other responsibilities there on the science and health channel.  But hey, I am not complaining, it’s work and I get to write my heart out, which I love.

I hope everyone’s October is off to a great start and look for me every once and a while!  Take care.

I still remember like it was yesterday… I was in room 435 with the patient in A bed when the patient on the other side of the curtain screamed, “Oh my God, we are under attack”. I remember turning to see what the hell was going on,and everything just sort of going into slow motion. A few other doctors, nurses and visitors had peeked their heads in as well as we watched a God awful scene on the television set.

The hair on my arms was standing straight up, my stomach was turning, I felt shear horror and I had tears rolling down my face. I had no clue, nor did the rest of the world, what was actually happening in front of my eyes. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any scarier… that second plane flew clear through that second World Trade building.

As we regrouped and had a small briefing at the hospital, as we were only 40 miles from our Nation’s capitol, all I could think was, “I just want to hold my daughter”. At the time our eldest was about 10 months old and my husband was working from home 2 days a week. He was at home with her on September the 11th, 2001. And I was 35 miles away… though it seemed like 100’s.

Then we heard all kinds of reports, “there were 5 planes missing, no 3 planes missing, and one is headed right for D.C.” Horror was the feeling. Being on a cardiac floor, we had to keep focus and keep on with our duties. Just imagine the fear that these patients with wires coming out of their chests that were serving as temporary pacemakers and the very ill, frail patients that could not walk if their lives depended on it felt. It was so damn scary.

I can remember looking around and seeing grown men with tears running down their faces and looks of hoplessness and fear. I can remember looking around at my fellow nurses, physicians and surgeons and thinking, “he looks like “them”, could he be part of this terror”?

I will never forget all the men, women and children that lost their lives that day, September 11th, 2001 to terrorists with nothing but rage, anger and hate inside of them! And I thank my lucky stars everyday that there are men and women out there that put their lives on the line to protect our freedoms while their families await their safe returns. I hope that today everyone takes a moment to reflect on what exactly took place that day in New York. I am so proud to live in the United States of America and do not take my freedom for granted. I have taught my kids why we wear our red, white and blue on this day and to always remember we live in the land of the free. God Bless the United States of America…

Picture this… The Big Guy, all 6′6″ of him, standing there watching the ladies dance… with each other. Um-huh, with each other and in no way do I mean a friendly be boppin’ kinda way but a bump and grindin’ kind of way!

Yes, The Big Guy and I had a date night on Sunday evening. And where did we go you ask? To one of the number 1, most premiere, oldest nightclub’s around our lovely city… The Hippo. The Hippo??????? Yes that would be a gay bar. We had a flippin blast.

We actually went with another married couple, heterosexual, who we have known for a very long time. We met a bunch of female couples that our friends go to church with. But it was seriously a good time had by all. The music was loud as hell, it was very smoky indeed and the dance floor was rocking. It took me right on back to my younger days!

And I would like to state a fact that in no way did I get up on a speaker and dance my ass off with a transgendered, horribly dressed individual like someone else I know. You know who you are!!!!! Hahahahahaha.

The Big Guy totally got checked out a few times. He just smiled and laughed it off. He is very secure in his “man hood”. Now he didn’t get a drink bought for him like a certain other male person, but thats the breaks. And you know who you are as well! (and now you can cross that off your “to accomplish in life” list).

I would totally go back! But this time I will not wear high heels cause my feet are still aching. GD bunions! I don’t think in his younger years The Big Guy would have gone for it, but he was cool this time around. I think secretly he was hoping to see some young, attractive, tightly dressed lady couples. You know that whole “every man’s dream” thing… I have no idea what he saw but it sure did get me some sweet lovin’, hahahahaha!

You want to know how we just spent our Friday evening? Emptying 45 gallons of water out of our air unit. So damn fun! The Big Guy and I both look like we took a swim. But hell no it is not water, it is sweat. Gross!!!

I so hope that we fixed the issue at hand and will go downstairs to a nice and dry, efficiently running air pump. We are good like that. I am telling you… we really kick ass as a team. He does the research on what the problem is and what will correct the situation while I figure out how to implement the “fixing”.

Oh sweet air conditioning unit, don’t fail us know. It is going to be a code red day tomorrow with a heat index of 108 degrees. Ugh… I am gonna say a prayer to the cool air fairy tonight! By the way, it is safe to say the carpet in the playroom is toast. Yeah, it’s done. Haha.

Every time I hear this song I tear up. Some days, much like today, you feel like you want to put your head through the wall. I found myself saying, “just go play” 100 times today. Bad mommy indeed, lol. Seriously though, they do grow up too damn fast and then it is quiet and you miss the hell out of them! So anyway, here are the words to the song, it is by Trace Adkins.

In the early rush of morning,
Trying to get the kids to school:
One’s hanging on my shirt-tail,
Another’s locked up in her room.
And I’m yelling up the stairs:
“Stop worrying ’bout your hair, you look fine.”

Then they’re fightin’ in the backseat,
And I’m playing referee.
Now someone’s gotta go,
The moment that we leave.
And everybody’s late,
I swear that I can’t wait till they grow up.

Then they do, and that’s how it is.
It’s just quiet in the mornin’,
Can’t believe how much you miss,
All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do.

Now the youngest is starting college,
She’ll be leavin’ in the Fall.
And Brianna’s latest boyfriend,
Called to ask if we could talk.
And I got the impression,
That he’s about to pop the question any day.

I look over at their pictures,
Sittin’ in their frames.
I see them as babies:
I guess that’ll never change.
You pray all their lives,
That someday they will find happiness.

Then they do, and that’s how it is.
It’s just quiet in the mornin’,
Can’t believe how much you miss,
All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do.

No more Monday PTA’s,
No carpools, or soccer games.
Your work is done.
Now you’ve got time that’s all your own.
You’ve been waitin’ for so long,
For those days to come.

Then they do, and that’s how it is.
It’s just quiet in the mornin’,
Can’t believe how much you miss,
All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do.

Ah, then they do.